The Gluten Trials Day 2 & The Gays

*In Class*

Guy: Hey you look familiar....

*we try and determine why*

Me: Do you know someone named Oscar Lara?
Guy: Oh! You know Oscar? He's got some meat on him and he is a little thuggish?
Me: Thuggish? Oh, no....I mean...he's gay.
Guy: OMG he's gay?
Me: OH....uh....
Guy: Then It's the wrong guy but that name does sound familiar *to himself* Did I sleep with him, maybe?


Well, today was day 2 of The Gluten Trials. We will start with last night.
So last night I meander on downstairs and decide I'm going to bring out the south in me and make some grits. As I am eating these grits I get a phone call from good ol' Huffman and friends.
"JACOBI, come out with us"
and since I am always down to party, I accepted.
So, the BFF and I get ready and they pick us up and we go to some bar. It was karaoke night with a nice size crowd, and we get our drink on.
OF COURSE, I know there is NO beer allowed. So I settle for my FAV - Seagrams 7 and Coke.
Well, because of the homosexual curfew, the bar closed at 1.
So, we go to Willie's house to continue getting smashed.
Somehow, a beer appeared in my hand and as I'm sipping - ok, ok chugging - on it, Alana (the BFF) says "HAHA you just broke your 'diet'"
Damn. I blame alcohol.
So I stumble in the house around 3 am and I am searching for something to eat.
For lack of wanting to attempt cooking in my state, I grabbed some hotdogs, heated them up and dipped them in a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
Off to bed to sleep off my drunk for 9:25 class in the morning.

SO that brings us to today's Gluten Free Trials.
I awake at bright 9 o'clock.
I rush to get my things together, grab some coffee and throw some veggie chips in a bag.
Around my second class of the day, I get hungry and start eating some veggie chips, but...there are only so many veggie chips you can eat before you want to hurl.
So I talk to the Sister (Jenny) on the phone before aerobics and she informs me that I cannot survive on veggie chips alone. She tells me to eat the AMAZING soup she cooked the other day. It is in her freezer.
Good Call, Jen.
SO.
I get home and I'm SUPER excited about that soup...I can taste it.
So I go in her freezer and grab a bag of frozen soup.
My first thought is ... ok. Get it out of the bag.
So I thaw it out enough to rip open the bag and place the frozen block in the middle of a pan.
I turn on the heat and my impatience is growing.
So, while I'm waiting I eat some chicken and gluten free gravy that is sitting on the counter. Just a few bites. I'm saving myself for the soup.
So as it is slowly melting, I'm scraping off the sides of the block thinking this will make it melt faster.
Actually all it did was turn this soup into a delicious mush that was not soup like at all. And somehow the bottom of the pan got coated with....something....
So after a million years, it finally melted and I inhaled this delicious gluten free meal.
ok. now that I'm full. nap time.
So I awake from my nap and I go downstairs where mother informs me that Sug (other sister) has gone out with Luke (one brother) to get some Subway sandwiches. I can't help but notice the grin on her face as she is telling me this.
So I search for my dinner.
Mom says "Make a salad"
No. No more salad. Last time I was starving as I was eating it. There has to be more to this gluten free lifestyle than salad.
So I head into the Celiac chambers (Jenny's room) and decide I'm going to Dine on my favorite dish ever: PASTA.
On my way to her room, my mother is sitting in a chair eating her Subway sandwich and begins making OMG this is so good noises.
Laughing, I turn around and say "You're such a whore"
Not knowing exactly how her reaction would be, I was praying she would laugh. She did, but as I was entering the Celiac Chamber, I hear Luke say "Did she just call you a whore?"
So. Anyways I grab some rice pasta, some tomato paste and diced tomatoes and begin preparing my feast.
Just as I am sitting down to enjoy the meal of meals, Jenny walks in and I proudly exclaim,
"I made dinner!!"
So we feast. And I believe it was better than any stupid Subway sandwich.
And now I am off to Whole Foods to find some snacks for tommorrow.
Working around baked goodies all day is enough to drive you crazy.

Well, that was Day 2 of the Gluten Trials. Let's see how Day 3 works out.