Luke: Oops.
Suzy: OMG You broke the freaking TV!! I hate you so much right now!!
*walks outside, tells mom and dad, they tell her to keep it off*
Suzy: Now none of us get to watch TV! Are you happy, you little bitch?
*looks at me*
Suzy: What the eff is so funny?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
The Last Day of the Gluten Free Trials and Wierd Cat Games
Mom: Jenny...the cats are playing their wierd cat games!
So today is the last day of The Gluten Trials. This week started out difficult, but I soon realized I can eat alot of things ...chicken, cheese, salad (of course), chips and salsa (YES), etc.
Last night, we went bar hopping and wound up at The Flying Saucer ... 84 kinds of beer.
I walk up to the bartender and ask "Do you guys have any beer without wheat in it?
and the asshole says "All beer has wheat in it"
and I said "NO actually not ALL beer does. There is one that doesn't"
How did he respond? By bringing me Redbridge. The beer with no wheat.
Then, we go to Chachos - yummy mexican food - where I order the Beef Fajita Burrito - Extra Sloppy with NO tortilla, chips instead. The girl got all confused and Warren tries to explain by telling her if I eat any kind of wheat, I'll explode. So she brings me fajita nachos.
This week I have been tempted by the pasta at work (which I LOVE), the cupcakes that smell so effing good, the delicious sandwiches cooking on the grill, and kolaches at Alana's house.
But I think I've made a decision.
I feel pretty good, doing this whole no wheat thing. I feel less bloated, I feel a little more healthy, just really damn good all around.
I think I'm going to continue this gluten free thing in general. Now, the exception I'll make is for special occasions. For example, when Frank comes home from college next week. We always have a date night at Olive Garden and they are having never ending pasta. OUR FAV.
So I'll eat it then, but that's it.
And if it's someone's birthday I might have a piece of cake. But not on an everyday basis.
I think I'm going to try and work it into my eating habits like Jenny has had to and eventually, hopefully, It will become easier and to the point of where I don't even WANT to have it.
I can still eat my FAV thing - chips and salsa, and I can still have chicken, veggies, fruit, rice, gluten free pastas...which actually are not that bad (I had some mac & cheese the other day that was amazingly good) I have yet to try any gluten free ravioli....my favorite food ever...maybe Ill go find some and make that for dinner tonight.
But all in all, Im satisfied and very happy that I did these Gluten Free Trials. Not only do I more understand what my sister's life is like, and how difficult it can be, I also feel as though I'm doing something good for myself.
So that's the final word on my little experiment.
So today is the last day of The Gluten Trials. This week started out difficult, but I soon realized I can eat alot of things ...chicken, cheese, salad (of course), chips and salsa (YES), etc.
Last night, we went bar hopping and wound up at The Flying Saucer ... 84 kinds of beer.
I walk up to the bartender and ask "Do you guys have any beer without wheat in it?
and the asshole says "All beer has wheat in it"
and I said "NO actually not ALL beer does. There is one that doesn't"
How did he respond? By bringing me Redbridge. The beer with no wheat.
Then, we go to Chachos - yummy mexican food - where I order the Beef Fajita Burrito - Extra Sloppy with NO tortilla, chips instead. The girl got all confused and Warren tries to explain by telling her if I eat any kind of wheat, I'll explode. So she brings me fajita nachos.
This week I have been tempted by the pasta at work (which I LOVE), the cupcakes that smell so effing good, the delicious sandwiches cooking on the grill, and kolaches at Alana's house.
But I think I've made a decision.
I feel pretty good, doing this whole no wheat thing. I feel less bloated, I feel a little more healthy, just really damn good all around.
I think I'm going to continue this gluten free thing in general. Now, the exception I'll make is for special occasions. For example, when Frank comes home from college next week. We always have a date night at Olive Garden and they are having never ending pasta. OUR FAV.
So I'll eat it then, but that's it.
And if it's someone's birthday I might have a piece of cake. But not on an everyday basis.
I think I'm going to try and work it into my eating habits like Jenny has had to and eventually, hopefully, It will become easier and to the point of where I don't even WANT to have it.
I can still eat my FAV thing - chips and salsa, and I can still have chicken, veggies, fruit, rice, gluten free pastas...which actually are not that bad (I had some mac & cheese the other day that was amazingly good) I have yet to try any gluten free ravioli....my favorite food ever...maybe Ill go find some and make that for dinner tonight.
But all in all, Im satisfied and very happy that I did these Gluten Free Trials. Not only do I more understand what my sister's life is like, and how difficult it can be, I also feel as though I'm doing something good for myself.
So that's the final word on my little experiment.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Day 3 of The Gluten Trials and Being Cute
*at work*
Gary (boss): Hey Ashley, did we ever get those trash bags in?
Me: ummm....well....I think they are over....well, maybe not....ummm
*pause*
Gary: Its a good thing you're cute.
So today was Day 3 of The Gluten Trials and I just want to note that I feel...its a little hard to explain.
I feel skinny. Not at all bloated. I feel....I guess in a sense you could say I feel healthy.
But at the same time, its only Day 3 and I might just be feeling this way because I imagine this as being more healthy and It may be all in my head.
Either way, update on last night. I went to Whole Foods with Huffman and grabbed a few items.
Ginger Snap cookies - omg YUM
Rice Mac & Cheese
Breakfast bar things - I didn't care for them, but Jenny did
A Frozen Pizza - Not that bad. It was quite tasty.
Some baby food for my cat.
So we are checking out and I realize that we are not going straight home so I ask the cashier to put the pizza back so it does not thaw.
Me: Oh, you don't have to worry about the pizza.
Cashier: *smiling largely* why?
Me: ...um cause I am not going straight home....
Cashier: Well we have complimentary ice for that *signals for ice and rings up my pizza*
Me: ok....
It was odd....
So we continue on our way....stopped at starbucks and bakers...nothing much...BUT around 11 I got SO hungry. That rice pasta wore off rather quickly.
So I eat some chips and salsa when I get to the house and fall into bed.
This morning, I go into work with my breakfast bar and leftover pasta, complete with chips and Ginger Snaps.
I did not care for the breakfast bar...it was too dry.
I had a ceasar salad when I was hungry at like 11. Those cupcakes were tempting me ALL day. And when I had to refill the pasta OMG the smell was SO tempting....
However, I did not budge and I heated up my Gluten Free-ness and filled up nicely on that. Everyone was looking at my food (it was all mashed up...I dont know how I manage to always mash everything...) and asking me if it was good. I thought that was a little amusing.
Well, that kept me full for the rest of the day and through class, and when I got home I made the frozen pizza. Jen and I feasted off of that.
It was not that bad. The crust was a little Tricuit-y as Jen had described, but it was still rather enjoyable.
So there goes Day 3 of the Gluten Trials. Let's see how Day 4 goes.
Gary (boss): Hey Ashley, did we ever get those trash bags in?
Me: ummm....well....I think they are over....well, maybe not....ummm
*pause*
Gary: Its a good thing you're cute.
So today was Day 3 of The Gluten Trials and I just want to note that I feel...its a little hard to explain.
I feel skinny. Not at all bloated. I feel....I guess in a sense you could say I feel healthy.
But at the same time, its only Day 3 and I might just be feeling this way because I imagine this as being more healthy and It may be all in my head.
Either way, update on last night. I went to Whole Foods with Huffman and grabbed a few items.
Ginger Snap cookies - omg YUM
Rice Mac & Cheese
Breakfast bar things - I didn't care for them, but Jenny did
A Frozen Pizza - Not that bad. It was quite tasty.
Some baby food for my cat.
So we are checking out and I realize that we are not going straight home so I ask the cashier to put the pizza back so it does not thaw.
Me: Oh, you don't have to worry about the pizza.
Cashier: *smiling largely* why?
Me: ...um cause I am not going straight home....
Cashier: Well we have complimentary ice for that *signals for ice and rings up my pizza*
Me: ok....
It was odd....
So we continue on our way....stopped at starbucks and bakers...nothing much...BUT around 11 I got SO hungry. That rice pasta wore off rather quickly.
So I eat some chips and salsa when I get to the house and fall into bed.
This morning, I go into work with my breakfast bar and leftover pasta, complete with chips and Ginger Snaps.
I did not care for the breakfast bar...it was too dry.
I had a ceasar salad when I was hungry at like 11. Those cupcakes were tempting me ALL day. And when I had to refill the pasta OMG the smell was SO tempting....
However, I did not budge and I heated up my Gluten Free-ness and filled up nicely on that. Everyone was looking at my food (it was all mashed up...I dont know how I manage to always mash everything...) and asking me if it was good. I thought that was a little amusing.
Well, that kept me full for the rest of the day and through class, and when I got home I made the frozen pizza. Jen and I feasted off of that.
It was not that bad. The crust was a little Tricuit-y as Jen had described, but it was still rather enjoyable.
So there goes Day 3 of the Gluten Trials. Let's see how Day 4 goes.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Gluten Trials Day 2 & The Gays
*In Class*
Guy: Hey you look familiar....
*we try and determine why*
Me: Do you know someone named Oscar Lara?
Guy: Oh! You know Oscar? He's got some meat on him and he is a little thuggish?
Me: Thuggish? Oh, no....I mean...he's gay.
Guy: OMG he's gay?
Me: OH....uh....
Guy: Then It's the wrong guy but that name does sound familiar *to himself* Did I sleep with him, maybe?
Well, today was day 2 of The Gluten Trials. We will start with last night.
So last night I meander on downstairs and decide I'm going to bring out the south in me and make some grits. As I am eating these grits I get a phone call from good ol' Huffman and friends.
"JACOBI, come out with us"
and since I am always down to party, I accepted.
So, the BFF and I get ready and they pick us up and we go to some bar. It was karaoke night with a nice size crowd, and we get our drink on.
OF COURSE, I know there is NO beer allowed. So I settle for my FAV - Seagrams 7 and Coke.
Well, because of the homosexual curfew, the bar closed at 1.
So, we go to Willie's house to continue getting smashed.
Somehow, a beer appeared in my hand and as I'm sipping - ok, ok chugging - on it, Alana (the BFF) says "HAHA you just broke your 'diet'"
Damn. I blame alcohol.
So I stumble in the house around 3 am and I am searching for something to eat.
For lack of wanting to attempt cooking in my state, I grabbed some hotdogs, heated them up and dipped them in a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
Off to bed to sleep off my drunk for 9:25 class in the morning.
SO that brings us to today's Gluten Free Trials.
I awake at bright 9 o'clock.
I rush to get my things together, grab some coffee and throw some veggie chips in a bag.
Around my second class of the day, I get hungry and start eating some veggie chips, but...there are only so many veggie chips you can eat before you want to hurl.
So I talk to the Sister (Jenny) on the phone before aerobics and she informs me that I cannot survive on veggie chips alone. She tells me to eat the AMAZING soup she cooked the other day. It is in her freezer.
Good Call, Jen.
SO.
I get home and I'm SUPER excited about that soup...I can taste it.
So I go in her freezer and grab a bag of frozen soup.
My first thought is ... ok. Get it out of the bag.
So I thaw it out enough to rip open the bag and place the frozen block in the middle of a pan.
I turn on the heat and my impatience is growing.
So, while I'm waiting I eat some chicken and gluten free gravy that is sitting on the counter. Just a few bites. I'm saving myself for the soup.
So as it is slowly melting, I'm scraping off the sides of the block thinking this will make it melt faster.
Actually all it did was turn this soup into a delicious mush that was not soup like at all. And somehow the bottom of the pan got coated with....something....
So after a million years, it finally melted and I inhaled this delicious gluten free meal.
ok. now that I'm full. nap time.
So I awake from my nap and I go downstairs where mother informs me that Sug (other sister) has gone out with Luke (one brother) to get some Subway sandwiches. I can't help but notice the grin on her face as she is telling me this.
So I search for my dinner.
Mom says "Make a salad"
No. No more salad. Last time I was starving as I was eating it. There has to be more to this gluten free lifestyle than salad.
So I head into the Celiac chambers (Jenny's room) and decide I'm going to Dine on my favorite dish ever: PASTA.
On my way to her room, my mother is sitting in a chair eating her Subway sandwich and begins making OMG this is so good noises.
Laughing, I turn around and say "You're such a whore"
Not knowing exactly how her reaction would be, I was praying she would laugh. She did, but as I was entering the Celiac Chamber, I hear Luke say "Did she just call you a whore?"
So. Anyways I grab some rice pasta, some tomato paste and diced tomatoes and begin preparing my feast.
Just as I am sitting down to enjoy the meal of meals, Jenny walks in and I proudly exclaim,
"I made dinner!!"
So we feast. And I believe it was better than any stupid Subway sandwich.
And now I am off to Whole Foods to find some snacks for tommorrow.
Working around baked goodies all day is enough to drive you crazy.
Well, that was Day 2 of the Gluten Trials. Let's see how Day 3 works out.
Guy: Hey you look familiar....
*we try and determine why*
Me: Do you know someone named Oscar Lara?
Guy: Oh! You know Oscar? He's got some meat on him and he is a little thuggish?
Me: Thuggish? Oh, no....I mean...he's gay.
Guy: OMG he's gay?
Me: OH....uh....
Guy: Then It's the wrong guy but that name does sound familiar *to himself* Did I sleep with him, maybe?
Well, today was day 2 of The Gluten Trials. We will start with last night.
So last night I meander on downstairs and decide I'm going to bring out the south in me and make some grits. As I am eating these grits I get a phone call from good ol' Huffman and friends.
"JACOBI, come out with us"
and since I am always down to party, I accepted.
So, the BFF and I get ready and they pick us up and we go to some bar. It was karaoke night with a nice size crowd, and we get our drink on.
OF COURSE, I know there is NO beer allowed. So I settle for my FAV - Seagrams 7 and Coke.
Well, because of the homosexual curfew, the bar closed at 1.
So, we go to Willie's house to continue getting smashed.
Somehow, a beer appeared in my hand and as I'm sipping - ok, ok chugging - on it, Alana (the BFF) says "HAHA you just broke your 'diet'"
Damn. I blame alcohol.
So I stumble in the house around 3 am and I am searching for something to eat.
For lack of wanting to attempt cooking in my state, I grabbed some hotdogs, heated them up and dipped them in a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
Off to bed to sleep off my drunk for 9:25 class in the morning.
SO that brings us to today's Gluten Free Trials.
I awake at bright 9 o'clock.
I rush to get my things together, grab some coffee and throw some veggie chips in a bag.
Around my second class of the day, I get hungry and start eating some veggie chips, but...there are only so many veggie chips you can eat before you want to hurl.
So I talk to the Sister (Jenny) on the phone before aerobics and she informs me that I cannot survive on veggie chips alone. She tells me to eat the AMAZING soup she cooked the other day. It is in her freezer.
Good Call, Jen.
SO.
I get home and I'm SUPER excited about that soup...I can taste it.
So I go in her freezer and grab a bag of frozen soup.
My first thought is ... ok. Get it out of the bag.
So I thaw it out enough to rip open the bag and place the frozen block in the middle of a pan.
I turn on the heat and my impatience is growing.
So, while I'm waiting I eat some chicken and gluten free gravy that is sitting on the counter. Just a few bites. I'm saving myself for the soup.
So as it is slowly melting, I'm scraping off the sides of the block thinking this will make it melt faster.
Actually all it did was turn this soup into a delicious mush that was not soup like at all. And somehow the bottom of the pan got coated with....something....
So after a million years, it finally melted and I inhaled this delicious gluten free meal.
ok. now that I'm full. nap time.
So I awake from my nap and I go downstairs where mother informs me that Sug (other sister) has gone out with Luke (one brother) to get some Subway sandwiches. I can't help but notice the grin on her face as she is telling me this.
So I search for my dinner.
Mom says "Make a salad"
No. No more salad. Last time I was starving as I was eating it. There has to be more to this gluten free lifestyle than salad.
So I head into the Celiac chambers (Jenny's room) and decide I'm going to Dine on my favorite dish ever: PASTA.
On my way to her room, my mother is sitting in a chair eating her Subway sandwich and begins making OMG this is so good noises.
Laughing, I turn around and say "You're such a whore"
Not knowing exactly how her reaction would be, I was praying she would laugh. She did, but as I was entering the Celiac Chamber, I hear Luke say "Did she just call you a whore?"
So. Anyways I grab some rice pasta, some tomato paste and diced tomatoes and begin preparing my feast.
Just as I am sitting down to enjoy the meal of meals, Jenny walks in and I proudly exclaim,
"I made dinner!!"
So we feast. And I believe it was better than any stupid Subway sandwich.
And now I am off to Whole Foods to find some snacks for tommorrow.
Working around baked goodies all day is enough to drive you crazy.
Well, that was Day 2 of the Gluten Trials. Let's see how Day 3 works out.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Dismembering Mothers & The Gluten Trials
*In History*
Teacher: ...and they were only in prison for being in debt, its not like they were rapists or murderers or that they dismembered their mothers or anything like that...
*pause*
Me: ...dismembered their mothers?
Teacher: Yeah, see they weren't that bad.
So today I decided to see what it is like to spend a week in the life of a Celiac. My sister is a Celiac so I've decided to see if i could do it if I were in her position.
I wanted to start this morning, but I forgot and ate a hot pocket for breakfast at work. Okay, so I started after I realized I wasn't supposed to eat that.
It was pretty difficult being around cupcakes all day, and sandwiches that I craved but couldn't have.
So when I got to the point of where if I didn't eat I was going to stab our dishwasher, I made a ceasar salad. No croutons. With chicken.
Fifteen minutes later....I'm still starving.
Ok, so I check the ingredients on the potato chip bag and decide they are ok so I eat some of those. Well, considering I'm not that big on potato chips, I got sick of them after like 3.
STILL HUNGRY.
Well, I get out of work and head to the house where, I search for something to eat and decided I'm way to effing tired from my little impromtu trip to Lake Charles and the casinos last night. (arriving back at my house, with no winnings, at 5 am and with work at 9 am) p.s. I'm kind of a rebel. haha
ANYWAYS. I give up on my unableness to nap and get up just as hungry and go downstairs to see what I can eat before my History class.
I find cheese puffs.
They are gluten free so I eat a few of those until I'm sick of them and move along to Veggie Chips.
Mom made grits but they are all gone and I didn't have time to make some before class.
So, in class I start to actually crave Veggie Chips and eat a few when I get home.
Here I am blogging about this and I still have yet to get up and make me something Non-Gluton.
I think they should make Insta-Non-Gluten Spaghettios or Meals for this very reason: Lazy Celiacs.
Well. There goes day 1 of The Gluten Trials. Let's see how day 2 goes.
Teacher: ...and they were only in prison for being in debt, its not like they were rapists or murderers or that they dismembered their mothers or anything like that...
*pause*
Me: ...dismembered their mothers?
Teacher: Yeah, see they weren't that bad.
So today I decided to see what it is like to spend a week in the life of a Celiac. My sister is a Celiac so I've decided to see if i could do it if I were in her position.
I wanted to start this morning, but I forgot and ate a hot pocket for breakfast at work. Okay, so I started after I realized I wasn't supposed to eat that.
It was pretty difficult being around cupcakes all day, and sandwiches that I craved but couldn't have.
So when I got to the point of where if I didn't eat I was going to stab our dishwasher, I made a ceasar salad. No croutons. With chicken.
Fifteen minutes later....I'm still starving.
Ok, so I check the ingredients on the potato chip bag and decide they are ok so I eat some of those. Well, considering I'm not that big on potato chips, I got sick of them after like 3.
STILL HUNGRY.
Well, I get out of work and head to the house where, I search for something to eat and decided I'm way to effing tired from my little impromtu trip to Lake Charles and the casinos last night. (arriving back at my house, with no winnings, at 5 am and with work at 9 am) p.s. I'm kind of a rebel. haha
ANYWAYS. I give up on my unableness to nap and get up just as hungry and go downstairs to see what I can eat before my History class.
I find cheese puffs.
They are gluten free so I eat a few of those until I'm sick of them and move along to Veggie Chips.
Mom made grits but they are all gone and I didn't have time to make some before class.
So, in class I start to actually crave Veggie Chips and eat a few when I get home.
Here I am blogging about this and I still have yet to get up and make me something Non-Gluton.
I think they should make Insta-Non-Gluten Spaghettios or Meals for this very reason: Lazy Celiacs.
Well. There goes day 1 of The Gluten Trials. Let's see how day 2 goes.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
JoBros & Miley
*Im walking through the house and I see Suzy (younger sister) watching tv*
Me: Are you watching the Jonas Brothers movie?
Suzy: Shut up its good.
Me: OMG, I cant believe Im related to you!!
*I start to walk upstairs*
Suzy: (yelling after me) WAIT A MINUTE. YOU LIKE MILEY CYRUS, BITCH. I CANT BELIEVE IM RELATED TO YOU!!!
Me: Are you watching the Jonas Brothers movie?
Suzy: Shut up its good.
Me: OMG, I cant believe Im related to you!!
*I start to walk upstairs*
Suzy: (yelling after me) WAIT A MINUTE. YOU LIKE MILEY CYRUS, BITCH. I CANT BELIEVE IM RELATED TO YOU!!!
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